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Habib’s list of amazing bread puns
A punbelieveable collaboration between Theta Mandel, Thien Valdram, Louis Peacock and James Hornby
That’s naan of your business!
That’s such a pitta… (as pity)
(after making other puns) I guess you could say I’m rather… rye? (Not sure this one works so well if it’s not written down — may need workshopping)
Wow, what a wheat. (as ‘week’)
(After a bunch of other puns) Better eat me up, because I’m on a roll!
Just gonna roll on outta here. (best while holding a roll as a prop)
Why was the baker running to the toilet?
He had the crepes.
What happened when the pudding was arrested?
He was remanded in custardy.
What is Santa's favourite type of bread?
Ho-Ho-Hovis.
Did you hear about the disappearing baker?
First he was here, then he was scone!
I hope you’re not finding these jokes too painful! (she’s French — she should like this one!)
Don’t worry, just baguette about it!
At yeast it’ll be home time soon!
I got muffin more to say.
Wheat’s up with you? (Scratch that, too easy)
(Pointing at a cake) This is my cheaper cake, (then pointing at another cake) and that’s madeira cake!
(for when we get all tasks done) A toast to a job well done! (works best with piece of bread which looks good for toasting)
This works just keeps pie-ling up! (best with pie prop, or she won’t think its a joke)
(While pointing at any puff pastry; works best as one of a series) Well, not to puff myself up too much
(For if we ever stock cornbread) Aw, I’m sorry, am I getting a little too corny for you (Too risky, draws too much attention to the puns)
(One for the end of a shift) That’s a wrap! (Might work better if I point at some wraps on the shelf)